Just keep Swimming (aka Convoluted Thoughts)

I have about three draft posts going right now – and none of them is acceptable enough to post. I am too hard on myself. That, and my mind never ever shuts off – so each of them rambles and goes in an array of directions that one might find hard to follow. Or, at least, that I find hard to follow and that has to count for something. I need to find a way to formulate my thoughts on one subject; multiple ideas come into my head and I just want to write them all out at once. It gets jumbled and hard to sort out.

One of the posts is on small acts of kindness and their ability to affect someone on deeper levels than you think is possible (thanks to my friend Travis who inspired this by making me smile on Wednesday night). Another post is on my stubbornness and whether it is helpful or detrimental (thanks to my job for throwing me totally off kilter yesterday). And the last is on if if it is possible to say “I love you” too much (thanks to my dad who told me that I, do, in fact say it too much).

But now those are three posts that you can look forward to at a different date.

Instead, today, I am just going to say that I think having a mind that never stops can be a bit irritating. I never stop thinking. Ever. Even right now – I am thinking about 6 things all at once. It gets a little hectic in my head. Writing has always helped me to make sense out of the world and realize that a lot of my thoughts are just variations of one another and I’m really only thinking a few main points at any given point in time (or spacetime now?) But I haven’t seem to even be able to get myself to write lately because of how overwhelming it seems to write down millions of things. So, if I know that it won’t end up being millions, but I don’t want to do it for that precise reason – perhaps, in a twisted way I actually like being kind of crazed and stressed and having to think too hard about too many things. I need to focus more before I can actually write about anything useful or thought provoking. Which I hope is on the way really soon; I’m sure you do too…
*Image from zazzle

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Dr. Suess is my Socrates

I like nonsense – it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living. It’s a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope… and that enables you to laugh at all of life’s realities. – Dr. Seuss

I thought I would take the time to explain the name of my blog. I picked up and moved to San Francisco a little over 6 months ago and left (almost) everyone and everything I knew behind. I have this way of throwing myself into new situations just to see if I can sink or swim. I studied in Italy for 6 months for the very same reason – getting myself out of my comfort zone.

Since moving here, I have felt like I haven’t been able to put my feet on the ground yet. Awesome place to live – check. Cool roommate – check. Steady job – check. So what is it then? I’m somehow reminded of the song Something’s Missing by John Mayer. One thing I do know is that I have started to find pieces of myself that I somehow forgot were there. Yes, that sounds silly since I am a mere 22 … but somehow I lost pieces of myself in the past few years that I am getting back. I am beginning to write again, reading more for pleasure, taking up running (I absentmindedly agreed to train for a half marathon with a friend this summer …but that is a whole different story for a whole different post). I’m also finding out that I have a love for web 2.0, SEO, and social media along and have been diving back into my passion of music.

The point is: I need to begin to look through the wrong end of a telescope. Telescopes are used to enlarge certain points of the sky to see them in more detail. But, by looking through the “wrong end of the telescope” perhaps I can begin to view my life less as segments and more as one whole progression toward the person that I want to become. Also, rather than blow things up I might be able to shrink things and start to focus on the individual details of my life. Where I want it to go, and who I want to be. Yes, that ensures that this will be another Generation Y- figuring myself out – navigating through post collegiate life blog. But, so be it

I also love this Dr. Suess quote because I whole-heartedly believe in what it says. I am a dreamer and I think that a little bit of nonsense and randomness is truly what makes the world go round. I like to throw a little silliness into life and laugh until my belly hurts. If you do not have happiness in life, what else is there? I try to go through life with a positive attitude and make the best of any situation I am given. I am a very self-aware person, and think that laughing at the little things is part of what keeps a person sane. All of life’s day to day realities can actually be quite silly …if you look at them through the wrong end of the telescope.

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How to Jump in Feet First

This is for Alex.

I’ve been debating starting a blog now for well over a month, if not two. I have always loved to write, and after my recent move to SF began to dabble a bit in the medium again. In fact, I have three unfinished, saved drafts of a first post. However, I have been too scared… hesitant… reluctant… chicken, if you will. I’ve never really put any of my writing out there for other people to read, and after keeping up with certain blogs that I love to read (links to come soon but I’m reaching the end of my lunch break here at work), I am wary that I will not be able to keep up. I’m the type of person that hates to do stuff I am not good at. As of late, I have been questioning whether I am actually a good writer. But, I’m also the type of person that isn’t not good at a lot of things, so I love the challenge and drive it takes to conquer something. Although I don’t enjoy things I’m not good at, if I’m passionate about it I will not stop at something until I succeed. Plus, I presume that the more you write the better you get. Or I hope so.

Enter this blog. After reading a post today from Kiersten Mitchell, I decided to write this here and now and publish it no matter what. I don’t have a theme or a picture or any links on my blog yet… but I need to start it.

And, I need to dedicate it to my best friend Alex. He has been my support system throughout the past 6 years, even though we are just now becoming as close again as we once were. He listens to my rants and raves, dishes out the best advice around, and knows me better than I know myself. He challenges my worldview, makes me questions my beliefs, and has me on the floor laughing so hard within the first two sentences of any conversation, I figure I’m well on my way to the six pack of my dreams. I could go on, but he knows what he means to me.

Just as if it were a book, and this the page you see before the content starts, I would like to dedicate this to him. Should anything ever happen to him I don’t know what I would do.

Now, I have to actually write some meaningful content I suppose.

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